Dogs Bollocks

Defying the necessity of visual representation, the 'Dogs Bollocks' has alternate meanings as a public house on Queen Street and an affirmative colloquialism. One popular misspelling (the dog's bollocks) lays etymological claim to the post-mortem report of the Japanese rhythm and blues legens 'Blind' Willie McJeffersonshiro, whose guide-dog led him into flight path of a Saturn V rocket in late 1986. The event has baffled the minds of rocket scientists for over twenty years.

Under The Weather

An almost constant preoccupation for most, being under the weather was first discovered in 1824 when a then very young Queen Victoria was heard to comment; 'I'm feeling rather under the weather today.' At first taken as a humorous comment, this has since been disproved as a imperialist aspirations. She went on to dominate India in a failed search for weather.

The Month of Sundays

The Month of Sundays has been a subject of intense debate among scholars for many generations. Some argue that it was not in fact a month of Sundays but a month that was in fact a Sunday. This was due to a loophole in Christian theology that allowed all the priests to have an extra day in bed in between March and April of 1557. At this stage in our history, almost everyone was jumping on the reformation band-wagon.

Jumping For Joy

A common happening among the easily excitable and toddlers. Most sensible people would prefer to use a ladder.

The End of The Day

The End of The Day is a regular, relatively menial occurrence for all except professional sporting figures, political commentators, those with nothing significant to say and those with erratic air travel patterns. 

The Other One (With Bells)

Death of Cold

Almost everyone has a Death of Cold though very few people manage to catch up with it. This is because of it's extensive triathlon training and vigorous interest in trainers. It's recommended that one doesn't catch one as they can be degredational to one's health. 

Hairy Situation

Foliculus Happeninias

Not to be mistaken for the Spikey Situation, these creatures can be found almost anywhere, and are well known to follow elephants in and out of rooms. Surprisingly for an animal that is essentially hair, they never seem to malt. Their mating habits are, at best, chaotic. 

The Blood Water Experiment

Before 1718, the argument over which was thicker; blood or water was responsible for international conflict, it divided families and was blamed for God. In 1718 however a small school of German scientists solved the problem once and for all;

'It was decided that Blood and Water should thus be mixed together, then whichever one was whatsoever to be left on the bottom was clearly the thicker.'

The rest is history.

The Rule Of Thumb

The Rule of Thumb divided the people of the measured world. Some blamed the Thumb for causing untold inaccuracy, Samuel Pepys, in his diary, famously called the Thumb '...presumptuous and full of generalisations not fit for a ruler.' Others said that his rule led to great progress and advances, even if they were sometimes a bit 'hit and miss'. 

Some claimed that Thumb was simply a figurehead and that Little Finger was really running the show, speculating that Thumb was totally under the control of Little Finger, others said that it was Thumb who was on top and Little Finger who was underneath him.